dogeeseseegod

Masculinity in a leather jacket

Womanhood in a diamond

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Grease

The Breakfast Club

The Outsiders

Gilded gender

with Molly Ringwald and Audrey Hepburn

red lipstick and black dresses and cigarettes

made to glamorize an era that ended up cancerous

held off to the side between two nicotine-stained fingers

I don't smoke cigarettes.

This wasn't a cigarette

it was a joint

You don't hold a joint

the way you hold a cigarette

It's supposed to be held

as though you are pondering it

between thumb

and forefinger

and exhaled

and enjoyed

joints

like

willie nelson

and

cowboys are frequently secretly fond of each other

a joint

like

colorado

and

oregon

and

granola

and

chapstick

and

flannel

and

queer

I am hotboxing

my queerness

the scent won't come off

i cannot shed this

this scent

reminiscent of campfire

but also of

old spice swagger

color oops

acetone

linen scented febreze

smells of queer

so when i smoke a joint

i will revel in it

i will bathe in it

if this is what being high on

queer

feels like

i

never

want

to

be

sober.